Official Lame Joke Contest Winner

The jokes are in, the votes have been tallied and I successfully made others stoop to my level by giving in to bad jokes. There were a few great entries submitted late, which made the final decision difficult. I've decided to give the winner 2 Chris points and the runner-up 1 Chris point (which are quite valuable these days in Japan), so without further ado:

Runner-Up:
Q: What was it called when Hitler tangled his shoe lace?
A: A Nazi!
Submitted by Kevin Lively

Grand Prize Winner:
A lumberjack walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, we don't serve lagers."
Submitted by Amanda Donev

Congratulations to these two "lame-o's"! All other submitted jokes can be seen below. Thanks to all who participated and perhaps you may get another shot to earn Chris points!

becklarue: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A man fell into a puddle of mud.
Want to hear a clean joke?
He took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear another dirty joke?
Bubbles was his neighbor.

fontalonz: So this guy walks into a bar... (OUCH!)

ColebaltBlue: An academic wondered if a bather is more beautiful in the forest if there is none to admire her. To find out he hid in the bushes to watch her which violated his premise but made him happy.
ColebaltBlue: Moral of the story: empiricism is more fun than speculation

ELIZIZ: Yea, why did the woman cross the road?
ELIZIZ: Well, what I want to know is what the bitch is doing out of the kitchen...

MerrieLuSangerin: Why did the frog cross the road?
MerrieLuSangerin: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

stars1683: You're lame
stars1683: That's my lame joke
stars1683: Lame like your mom

Adam : Is that an oscilliscope in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

And of course my contribution (which is sooo good it didn't count):

A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender turns to it and says, "I'm sorry we don't serve mushrooms here" to which the mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"

Distractions

The more I try to focus on my work, the more distractions keep arising. Not only is the temptation of TV and music difficult to manage, but also throw in the Fantasy Football leagues I'm a part of. To make matters worse, I've found out that you can play Settlers of Cattan online, so now I find myself restraining to not play it all the time. Finally, my friend mentioned to me today that in my film class next semester, towards the end of the semester the next Star Wars movie comes out. This not only suggests that I might get to see an advanced screening of the movie, but also would most likely meet members involved in the production (very possibly George Lucas!). Needless to say distractions! I've got too many of them for the work I need to get done in the next 2 weeks.

Weekly Update

It's that time of the year again: cruchtime! Well actually crunchtime won't begin until after Thanksgiving and then it will get really bad. So before I disappear again, I'll recap a little bit about this past week's adventures.

My parents came down for the football game last Saturday and we had a good day of food and sports. Afterwards, they went back home and I went to a party at which I ended up having a fair amount to drink. My friend Ethan told me that I'm not all that different drunk, because I'm goofy enough to begin with, so not much changes. I was still fairly coherent anyway at the party, so I know I can probably drink a lot more. I have yet to try that out though. And I was coherent enough to teach the Shim Sham to Heidi, who was also inebriated. I ended up leaving the party around 4 or so while we were watching the Lion King with subtitles, which is as amusing as it sounds.

The next night I alluded to in my previous post, where my roommate and I suddenly decided that we would get trashed. Don't you just love spur of the moment drinking binges? The only difference though is that my roommate is lightweight so he was gone way more than I was. We ended up playing Smash Bros. and drinking til about 2 and then crashed, planning to go to classes the next day. Needless to say that didn't exactly happen, though I did manage to salvage a little bit of it. I think the next time my roommate and I decide to randomly drink we'll do it on a Friday or Saturday.

I ended up going back to Ethan's Tuesday night for dinner, drinks, and to play Settlers of Catan while playing the movie Roger Dodger in the background. I got to see Rachel's novel progress and had a good time. All of these activities are going on amidst work of course. I guess I'm just trying to enjoy myself before I really have to crack down.

This weekend's plans, aside from feeling the crunch, include going dancing tonight, even though I really shouldn't (Curse you Heidi!), and going to see the USC Opera tomorrow afternoon where my friend Elisa will be performing as the star! So no drinking is expected this weekend but after last week, I'm fine with not really having anything. I've learned this past week that food and alcohol in moderation are nice, but taken out of moderation can be a bad combination. So I'm going to try and lighten up on both. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to post once more before Thanksgiving, at least to share some random accounts that take place.

Bedtime?

So I glance out my window at 12:55 AM and see a bicycle driven carriage being riden up and down the street. Should I be concerned at all? I think that's my cue to go to bed....

Peer Pressure

I've mentioned to some people before that my roommate and I are really bad at peer pressuring each other into doing things, mostly drinking. So needless to say, I'm rather inebriated right now. I'm not exactly drunk because I'm making sense of this post, but I'd say I'm about 75% drunk. For some reason tonight we've been really bad in pressuring each other to drink just a little bit more. Right now it's a party of two and we've both hit it pretty hard. I'll elaborate more tomorrow (including details of last night's party), but right now I'm too drunk to explain much. So until tomorrow....

Stepping Out

Last night was the last night of our swing lessons on campus for the semester. I haven't really been going at all this semester because I have a class Tuesday nights, but since we just took a test last week in that class (Engineering Economy, *yawn*) I skipped it in order to dance on campus one last time for the semester. And because it was the last class, they taught us the Shim Sham, which I' d always wanted to learn but never had. It's primarily a line dance that you can do by yourself. If you want to learn it, this site gives precise, but somewhat vague instructions to the entire dance. It really makes dancing in my room a whole lot easier now because I don't have to pretend I have a partner (well, at least until the very end of the dance).

In other news, I've enrolled in classes for next semester. I was fortunate enough to enroll in CTCS-466 Theatrical Film Symposium taught by Leonard Maltin. This is the one class that I've been looking forward towards since Freshman year, and now finally I get to take it. I was looking for a website to show off, but all I could find was the course description: Lectures and readings on creative problems in the motion picture industry; current films; interviews with visiting producers, directors, writers, performers. *shivers* Now I've gone and gotten myself all excited.

Flubbity Flub

So I know it's been over a month since I've last posted, but frankly, recently I haven't found the energy (or the time) to care much. School has been way too controlling with homeworks, and projects and tests, etc. Plus on top of that it's my senior year, so I'm trying to enjoy my free time when I can. After being a deadhead last semester because of school, it seems like every spare chance I have (and some I don't) I'm out with friends having a drink, going to movies, dancing, going to parties, or designated driving. How do you expect me to keep up with all of it?

So a lot has happened since I last posted, but I'm not going to fill in details since I tried that once and my post got erased. Instead I will talk about my most recent adventure:

I went to Hollywood Saturday night because my friend just turned 21 and gathered a group of us to go out drinking and club hopping. We got a late start because of the late football game (we are all Trojan fans, of course) and so we lost some of the early nightlife. I was elected to drive one of the two cars since I made a commitment with my friend Erin to not drink and be a designated driver. I was fine with that especially since I didn't have the cash to spend on alcohol.

So we drove to Hollywood and parked along the street a long ways away from the action. On the ensuing walk, my brother Patrick calls and so I'm talking with him as we wander through the streets of Hollywood. Probably the highlight of my night occurred when, as we were walking and I was talking, we passed by David Cross. We also walked by Neil Flynn from "Scrubs" and David Koechner from SNL and "Anchorman" standing outside of the Olympic Improv. I later discovered that they had performed there earlier with their group called Beer Shark Mice. Patrick got an earful every time I walked by someone.

We eventually made it to a small, cramped bar and the other guys got their drinks. After about 30 minutes there we left in search of a nightclub to spend the rest of the evening at. We wandered along the streets until we found a place called "Deep" located at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. We got in for half price because we were a big group with a birthday girl, and so we ventured in for music, dancing, and booze. The music in the place was deafening, which made it impossible to converse with anyone, so all we could do was to either drink, dance or stand awkwardly. I, of course, was doing the latter two for a couple of hours. It was fun, but much more crowd and noise than I'm used to. When the music stopped at about a quarter to two, some people were fairly sloshed and we left towards the car.

About halfway back, we came across a theater supporting Mexican Independent Films or something of the sort. We meandered in and while a few of the guys found more beer to drink, others ventured upstairs to where music was being played. They had a small dance floor and were playing all sorts of songs, so we stayed and danced and goofed around for another hour or so. To me it was much more fun than the club, mainly because I could interact with people (and I liked the music better, for the most part).

It was bordering 3am so we left to head back to the cars. I tell you, there's nothing like drunk Trojans singing/screaming the USC fight song at 3am. Eventually we drove back to Marina del Rey where we met up at the beginning of the night. After some food, I decided to call it a night around 4am and headed home.

All day yesterday my ears were still ringing from the club and it wasn't until this morning that my otic senses finally started to work again. Moral of the story: next time I go clubbing, I'm bringing ear plugs. All in all though, I had a fun night out with friends, and with school going the way it has, I better cherish these moments while I can.

I'll try and be better about posting future adventures I have, but I won't make any promises. Also, once I get some pictures developed, I'll show and explain my Halloween costumes for this year!

Check back soon, the fun is about to get started again!